Expecting Again!.... (not me)

Yesterday was a day of personal reflection and nostalgia. My sister, Leah, called me yesterday after her ultrasound and announced that she was having a Boy! So my excitement was peaked because now I was able to drag out those boxes and boxes of clothes I had saved after Landon had outgrown them. For a while I thought they would NEVER get used again (*chuckles to oneself*) and that the boxes and containers were always going to take up room and continue with me through move after move. But yesterday I finally dug through my storage boxes to get one that had the infant clothes inside. As I sat and folded the clothes to make them look nicer for Leah to go through... I realized something surprising and a little disturbing. I don't remember Landon being that small. I know that I see him as a newborn in pictures and everything... but I don't remember holding his small little body in my arms and how it felt so fragile. I just don't remember him being able to fit into some of those newborn clothes! I don't know whether I'm suffering from loss of memory (which many woman and men have said happens when you have children) or whether I'm developing some form of premature Alzheimer's... but it's a little unnerving either way. You see I want to remember Landon that small. I am sure that I'll experience holding my nephew soon enough, but I want to remember holding my son. Maybe this is why women keep having children... I don't know. But as I realized this yesterday and felt a little bit of loss.

As I continued sorting I realized that some of the clothes he never wore... and others he wore time and time again. I even have those little shoes and can't imagine his size 10 foot... let alone big toe... fit into those anymore. So I was struck again by how quickly time goes by. It doesn't seem that Landon will be turning 3 years old next week. Instead it seems like he should still be in diapers (I'm not saying I wish for that stage again...) and giving me a gummy grin. Perhaps I'm in a "baby-hungry stage" due to all the tiny baby clothes and blankets and shoes I saw yesterday night as I was reminiscing... but to be honest I know that I am not going to have a baby anytime soon and that saddens me. I see my sister going through the stages of pregnancy and looked down the other day to realize that the "muffin top" (that my sister-in-law, Kimber, described in her blog) was NOT a little one growing inside me... but some extra toning that I need to do.

Leah (finally!) looks pregnant now... albeit barely for being 5 months along. Leah and Thomas have already named their little guy. I have to admit that when I heard the name I laughed (which I unintentionally hurt Thomas' feelings with)... but since then it's really grown on me and now I'm not sure I'd like any other name they might have chosen. This little man's name is going to be Drake (?Unknown Yet) Linton. Thomas picked it out (which is the cause of the hurt feelings) and it has to do with something hunting... a male duck of sorts or something. I am excited about this little guy coming into the world and being a part of his family at home for now. I am excited to be able to touch Leah's belly soon and feel Drake kicking and squirming. I am excited about the trip to the hospital and the hours in the delivery room. But most of all I'm excited about taking those first pictures of Drake and his mom and dad. To capture those moments so he can look back on them after he's older and see that day. I am excited to hold him and welcome him to a very new world he'll soon be aclimated to. To have a baby that newly born is like having something from heaven right in your arms. Makes me wish that babies could talk and tell us things they know and see.