Psycho Magnet...

"My new nickname for you, Autumn, is Psycho Magnet! Hahaha...." Yep... this is what my brother-in-law, Thomas, told me late last month.

I have gone on dates with 3 guys and so far they have all turned out horribly. My family jokes around with me (ok my brother-in-law and sister) that I have a stalker now, which eventually led to the statement above! My first date turned out to only last 40 minutes or so... the second I wish would have been shorter than it was. That was the most awkward date I've ever been through! My sister, Leah and Thomas were able to experience that one with me and they felt just as awkward as I did. The third guy was just different and not my type at all, but no matter how blunt I tell him that I don't like or am interested in him, he doesn't seem to get it! Ugh!!!!

hahaha... I can laugh now... but it has me wondering if I don't actively search for guys that I like and am attracted to, then will all these "psychos" (as Thomas puts it) keep coming? I know that I'm attracted to the "bad guy" kind that seem to have problems with sex-addictions, pornography, and anything else you can guess... I know! Naive, innocent and trusting girl being drawn to that kind of a guy is surprising, but true nonetheless. I just hope that there are guys out there that will see and pursue me that don't fall into the two categories I've mentioned above. Maybe there's not one left, but I still have to hope. I have decided that I am done trying to "look" for someone (which actually was my epiphany that happened like a two months ago), and if someone ends up coming along then that's great, but I'm not going to actively put myself out there anymore. I see so many happy stories in my friend's lives and would like to make that fantasy family world, my world. I want to eventually have a husband who I am head over heels in love with and who feels the same about me and is an active, worthy member of the Church. I want a small or large family... doesn't matter to me. I just want to be loved again and by someone that I'm attracted to, but not necessarily the "type" that I am pulled toward.

Hahaha... this is filled with oxymorons. I apologize about that! This is where I am in life right now... trying to shake off one guy while hoping to meet a normal one, but not expecting for that to happen anytime soon. :) Random thoughts of a single LDS mother... of course they might not make sense, but they are there nonetheless...